In the recent past, the dream for Nigerian youth was straightforward: secure a stable job, marry young, and start a family.
Fast forward to 2025, and the narrative has drastically changed across southern Nigeria, especially in vibrant cities like Lagos, Uyo, Port Harcourt, and Delta State.
Today, a new trend dominates conversations among young people — the rise of hookup culture and the pursuit of a “soft life.”
What is the “Soft Life”?
The term “soft life” has become a popular phrase among the youth in southern Nigeria. It embodies:
- A lifestyle marked by ease and comfort, free from unnecessary struggles.
- A focus on luxury, enjoyment, travel, and living in the moment, rather than saving for the future.
- A collective decision to say no to hardship and yes to enjoyment.
Social media plays a massive role in shaping this lifestyle. From Instagram influencers showcasing lavish trips to Dubai to TikTok creators flaunting the latest designer fashions, the youth in Uyo and Port Harcourt are constantly reminded that living well is now the ultimate measure of success.
The Rise of Hookup Culture
Alongside the blossoming soft life trend, hookup culture has gained significant traction. Unlike previous generations that prioritized early marriage, many young people today view casual relationships as a more realistic and appealing option.
Locations like Maitama in Ewet Housing Estate, Edet Akpan Avenue and most of the outdoor bars and lounges are market place for “point and kill” sex hawkers.
What was being heard of in Lagos and never imagined in the quiet, religious city of Uyo, is now gradually becoming the new normal. There are locations that sex hawkers would block the streets, cause traffic, and maximize the slow traffic to virtually beg motorists for patronage. From 5000 naira to 50,000 naira, one could buy sex at night from women depending on their class, because in the aforementioned market, all girls are equal but some anatomy are more equal than others.
Male respondents insists that the sex workers are the same people tagging themselves as independent women on social media, refusing any form of submission to leadership be it parental, spousal or governmental, “by day, the market one product or the other online, but clearly when you look deep, their lifestyle clearly shows you that their online business that they showcase cannot fund that lifestyle, so at night they make more money”. A young g man who preferred to be called AK said.
When our reporter told AK that the male who patronize these ladies are those fueling the industry, AK said “was sex supposed to be for sale?”
Why this shift?
- Economic Pressures: With youth unemployment soaring above 40% and the cost of living rising, marriage often feels financially out of reach.
- Global Influences: Western culture, popular music, and movies from Nollywood are normalizing casual dating and relationships.
- Technology: Dating apps and social media provide endless opportunities for quick and casual connections.
- Freedom Over Commitment: Many prefer the flexibility of casual relationships, seeing family responsibilities as burdensome.
Statistics Behind the Change
Recent data reveals the depth of this transformation:
- The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) reports youth unemployment at over 40%, complicating financial stability before marriage.
- A 2019 NOI Poll found that 64% of young Nigerians postpone marriage due to economic challenges.
- Social media usage among southern Nigerian youths exceeds 80%, amplifying exposure to hookup-friendly lifestyles.
- A UNICEF study indicates that young Nigerians increasingly prioritize personal fulfillment and freedom over traditional societal expectations.
The Clash with Tradition
However, this cultural shift hasn’t come without backlash. Older generations in Uyo, Port Harcourt, and Bayelsa State still champion the traditional family system, where marriage is deemed the ultimate goal. Religious institutions often preach against hookup culture, and many parents continue to pressure their children to settle down.
Yet, today’s youth argue that they’d rather enjoy a “soft life now than suffer in a troubled marriage later.”
The Double-Edged Sword
While hookup culture and the soft life trend offer freedom and enjoyment, critics warn of potential downsides:
- Emotional Instability: Casual relationships often lack long-term commitment, leading to heartbreak.
- Health Risks: There’s a rising threat of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) among those engaging in casual encounters.
- Weakening Family Values: The traditional bond of marriage seems to be eroding.
On the flip side, supporters argue that this movement allows young people to reclaim control over their lives, prioritizing mental health, financial independence, and personal happiness over outdated traditions.
Sadly
The emergence of hookup culture and the soft life trend in southern Nigeria reflects a generation rewriting cultural expectations. It highlights a youth that values flexibility, enjoyment, and personal freedom over societal pressure.
Whether this is a passing trend or a new way of life, one thing is clear: cities like Uyo, Port Harcourt, and Delta State are at the forefront of Nigeria’s evolving youth culture, where the quest for independence and happiness continues to unfold.
